Every day, millions of people wake up early and go to work hard to feed their families. They work to bring a benefit for society. On the other hand, there are the famous sportsmen and sportswomen. All of them look for options to reach their goals . They are talented and they make a really big effort to reach their positions but, do they deserve millions and millions of dollars just for playing a game? Why must entertainment be so expensive? Do they work harder than us?
Perhaps, to solve the problem, we must think first about what are our criteria to value a person´s job. If we focus on how much money these sportspeople are able to produce by filling stadiums or appearing on TV commercials, perhaps it is fair to think that they must earn such quantity of money. But if we ponder the benefit for society with their activities, I think that we shouldn´t spend too much money on sports.
I personally think that it is a very unfair situation that some people earn in one hour more money than others working hard in their whole life. Sportspeople earn that money just for playing games in a grass field, kicking or throwing balls, running or jumping, what do we want it for? Do we really need to see other people playing stunts? Why can´t they do a more productive activity?
We must consider that the power and money of that people is the power and money that we let them have. It is the common people who fill stadiums, spending their money on sports. Since we are free to decide how to use our money, the decision about if sportspeople are paid far more than they deserve depends on each one of us.
My score: 15
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Hi Alejandro:
ResponderEliminarI like the point you want to defend because is sensible and important, but I think you could´ve better organised your ideas and make sure each paragraph has its proper content
Hi Alejandro.
ResponderEliminarI enjoyed your article because I could feel the sensitivity of your words. I just would like to make a suggestion about the supporting ideas. I would add other paragraph about the inequality of salaries. Very good job
Aaraón
I think is good your ideas and the form in which you present them, but may be you generalize the idea of all the sports because not all of them are over paid, may be you could be more especific in some aspects, but I think your text is good, your vocabulary is good..
ResponderEliminargood luck bye
Hi Alex!!! You already know that I wrote about the same topic, I like how you defend your point and it have great content, just if you add some supporting paragraphs about some examples could be great. Well done!
ResponderEliminarAlejandro: I agree with you in some points of your composition, but I suggest you to organise in other way your ideas, for example you could argue better youy points of view.
ResponderEliminarHave a nice week...
Hey Alejandro.
ResponderEliminarI think that you did a good job with this composition. I can only sujest that you spice up a little the opening paragraph so it draws more attention.
Hi, Alejandro you did a good job, you defend really well your way of thinking, so I epreciate that, the only thing is that maybe you could organize in a better way your ideas, but in general I like it.
ResponderEliminarI like your work because you give strong reasons for not thinking that is fair the salaries that those people get. I agree with Enrique in the way that not all sports are well paid, there are others that are actually overlooked. Your work has valuable ideas that catches the attraction of the reader, but maybe you need to reinforce your arguments, in order to keep the attention.
ResponderEliminarHey Alex:
ResponderEliminarI think your opinion is clear and your ideas are well structured.I really enjoyed the introduction because give the context to your opinion. Also I liked your conclusion, because it leaves a reflection.
Cheers, Monse.
Hi IQ Alex:
ResponderEliminarI think your ideas are clear, but i think you should comment the guys who are in a continue training very hard everyday. you made a good job! and I agree with you. =)
Hello Alejandro:
ResponderEliminarI think that you have done a very good job, you support your ideas and it is clear. May be you could organized your ideas in other way. The way you finish make us think about the topic, I like it.
Hi
ResponderEliminarI think your composition it’s good, because when I was reading it I can notice what you think about the inequality of salaries, just let me give you a suggestion, maybe you can use another opening paragraph to make it more attractive and organized more your paragraphs
Hello Alejandro!!!
ResponderEliminarI think that your composition is really good because the content is true and you described it in an interesting way. To improve your work my advice is that maybe you can try to increase your vocabulary and avoid to repeat ideas.
Hi there Mr Engineer, I really liked your article, you can feel the emotion and I totally agree with you. Nice job man!!
ResponderEliminarHi Alejandro,
ResponderEliminarI think your ideas are very clear and you developed them in a very good way. I like the way you write, especially I like that you are very direct. I liked your text.
Hello Alejandro.
ResponderEliminarI think your arguments are clear and well organized. It's easy to read, and it's also interesting. Your introductory parahgraph could be stronger, anyway it is okay.
Hi Alejandro,
ResponderEliminarI enjoyed reading your article, to me it shows your opinion about the topic, the ideas are well expressed and you have a good use of vocabulary.
Hello:
ResponderEliminarI think that your essay is good, you gave good points of view, I think that you showed your ideas clearly, but still I have a little observation.
I believe that your introductory paragraph goes directly to the main point and didn't gave us an overview of the ideas that you developed in the body of your essay, it looks as another paragraph and looks as if you had omitted the introduction.
Thats all. Gabriel García
all the sports are great activities, but there aren`t not the only one, I hope that euiqtble things wilol apperar some day, youneeds to organize a little but your ideas. Good points.
ResponderEliminarHi Alex:
ResponderEliminarI agree with your point of view and I think it was a very good analysis of this topic, it was easy to follow your ideas and the only thing I would add would be some examples to make it clearer.
god job!!
Robert
hello alejandro
ResponderEliminarYou are more realistic, I like the beginig of the article beacuse it seems more that an article, its clear and objetive
Hi Alejandro!
ResponderEliminarI like your ideas in general, I just recommend you a little bit of more organization. I think it´s fine that you hold your attitude. Good job!